My Battlefield , My Mind

I had the cutest idea for a post on this my birthday. Darn it, for the life of me I can't remember how it was suppose to go, but it was very clever. You would have laughed and thought to yourself, "that Cherie is a such a clever gal." But alas, my thoughts go as quick as they come, and you will now just have to endure my sleepless ramblings. This post is dedicated to my friends who love me, and endure my ramblings. Wisdom would probably instruct me not to be posting anything after only 6 hrs. sleep over a 2 night period, but the other alternative was writing the paper that I have due on Monday...and of course blogging wins out on the list of priorities there, right! (Just remember to pray for me when you are finished reading :)
MY mind, my mind...oh yes, my mind is a constant battlefield. I would say that it is the playing field where I have experienced my greatest thrills of spiritual victory and the most agonizing spiritual defeats. Where my mind spends time, the other members of my body most often follow suit. As I wrote earlier in the week, I have had kind of a challenging week in the area of keeping the right attitude. I know that I am not the only one who is having a rough week, so this post is not for the purpose of comparing my "bad" week to anyone else's, but to share with you how frustrated I am with the inconsistency I see in my own life and how I want to mature in this area.
Consistency is what I look for when I am trying to gauge growth in my children's learning. If they know how to spell "absurd" on Monday but can't come up with the correct spelling for the spelling test on Friday, or can't spell the word correctly 2 weeks after the test, then they haven't learned how to spell absurd ( that is one of the spelling words for this week). That I can cry in one breath, "oh, how I love Jesus!" and in another complain about my circumstances, even curse them in my mind, then I have to ask myself, am I showing any growth? Where is my spiritual maturity? Example:( Last week) Our pool had turned into a swamp over the winter months and I was advised by a pro. to drain, clean and refill and the call him back. I thought to myself, "great, when this guy comes back to check the chemicals and filter I'm going to tell him about Jesus and invite him to lifegroup. (This Tuesday) My vinyl liner pulls completely out of the framework and I find myself standing in the bottom my pool cursing this man over and over in my mind.
Taking my thoughts captive is a daily exercises of obedience to Christ. I will just admit that I often fail terribly in this area, because I have become very good at "looking" like I am walking in the Spirit, when in reality my mind is playing some other pitiful, selfish, sinful scenario over and over. I WANT to love Christ well, but am painfully and keenly aware that He says that if I love Him , I WILL OBEY His commandments. I don't want the kind of outward obedience that becomes a show that I put on for men to see, but the obedience that is the result of a God transformed life. It is a consistent, inward and outward, heart, soul and mind renewing experience that I desire. It comes with spending time with God everyday, washing my mind with the renewing power of His Word. It comes with thinking on those things which are true, noble, kind, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy and taking captive the thoughts that are not. Once those thoughts are captive, they must be placed subject to the authority of Christ...that means I confess they are worthless, that I am wrong and ask for the Holy Spirit to take control of my thoughts, which almost always results in me realising the truth about the circumstances...like that they are an opportunity be grateful or to be challenged and show growth. If the circumstances are a result of a bad choice in my life, then it is an opportunity to admit error, ask for forgiveness, and make things as right as possible. Again...it is an opportunity to learn and grow, and I pray that someday I will look at my life and see more consistency in this area. I live and I learn...and here is to 37 years that God has given me on this earth so far. Happy Birthday to me! May the years to follow show that I am growing in Him!

Remember To Count Your Blessings

A few posts ago I wrote about how we can ask, "what has God done for us lately?" After two rough days this week I decided that I MUST spend some time refocusing. I have been consumed with "have to get dones" and "not working outs" and need to reframe my perspective on life. So here it goes... (counting my blessings)

1. God looked down on me and called me to Him, cleaned me up and filled me with His Spirit.
(okay, that's enough to change my perspective! but I will continue...I owe God that much after my stinky attitude over the past 2 days.)
2. I am having my 37th birthday this Thursday...nineteen of which I have spent loving, and following Jesus Christ. (The other 18 years serve as valuable experience, I've been there, done it, and know that I never want to go back!)
3. God has blessed me with a husband who loves Christ, and God continues to work in his life.
4. God loved me as I was, but loves me enough not to leave me that way. God is not finished with me yet!!! He is faithful to complete the work He has started in me.
5. Buddy and I will be having our 16 th wedding anniversary this next month.
6.I have 3 healthy, beautiful, intelligent daughters and the great privilege that God has given me to teach them about surrendering their lives to Him (everyday).
7. His super-abundant provision in our lives. (Our daily bread + roof, clothing, transportation, and so on, and so on...)
8. Friends who love the Lord and encourage us to continue.
9. The daily opportunity of seeing God's hand at work in our lives and in the lives of countless others! We do not serve a God that we only read about in the Bible, but a God who is alive and well and at work in awesome ways every day. We have stuff to talk about!
10. More specific things that have happened that I am thankful for include...

Making some long awaited break throughs in my eldest daughter's math.
New interest in playing instruments ( my kids). I love music!
Buddy's tuition being completely paid for (2 semesters in a row!!)
Me getting to go back to school.
That it is Spring and my garden is in bloom.
That we are getting $ back from the IRS this year. lol
My Clariten seems to be working this allergy season:)
I get a date night with my husband this Friday.
We are scheduled to go to my parent's house this summer...I haven't been in 7 years.
I will probably think of 10 more things that I should have written down as soon as I go to bed...but this is a good start.
Remember to count your blessings too!

Garden Party

A Garden Party,I'm finally having one! I have wanted to for years. I always want the gardens to be perfect first, then I realized that I've been at this gardening thing several years now and it is never perfect...just in a perpetual state of becoming more like the fantasy garden I see in my mind. It is my quiet place to reflect on all that God has done, a spiritual experience of a sorts, where His creation speaks about Him (which is always affirmed by what His Word has already said about Him). God has taught me many lessons out in my garden, lessons of patience, of discipline, of weathering trials, etc. I've decided to invite all my gardening neighbor ladies (there are many of them!). I thought that we could bring things to exchange...seeds, rhizomes, cuttings. I for one am hoping that the neighbor out front will bring some of her yellow Cannas. I am over- run with orange, but have wanted yellow for a long time. So, I am planning on hand delivering the invitations today. My real aim is to build a closer community here in my neighborhood. Life moves so fast and it is hard to connect with people. I want to connect with my neighbors and allow God to use me to share His love with them. So if you are in the neighborhood and don't mind getting your hands a little dirty, drop by we would love to share our seeds, a snack and the love of Christ. Party to be held Saturday, March 29nd @ 2pm.

Open Wide!

Okay, I'm embarrassed to admit it , but here it is for all of blogdom to read. It had been 18 years since I had been to the dentist. GASP!

My parents would just die if they knew that all the money they had spent to extract and straighten these pearlies has been so mismanaged. As I reflect on how this could have happened, I have determined that it is entirely my childhood dentist's fault. Bob Barrington, DDS is at fault for me being unable to see another dentist. I saw the same wonderful, gentle dentist for all of my childhood. He had a sweet hygienist who would brush our teeth with those cool, swirly brushing machines. She would always let us choose which flavor of fluoride we would soak in...I always chose bubblegum and when it came time to "spit it all out", as she would instruct, I would always just split for a bit so that I could secretly relish the wonderful bubblegum flavor (of course they never told you why you should spit it all out). At the end of the cleaning he had this cool treasure chest with real treasures! Ok, they seemed like real treasure to a eight year old. There were a few times that I required a few fillings...no biggie, Dr. Bob would have me sit in that cool chair...the one facing that huge picture window, and as I looked out at the birds in the pine trees outside his office, he would slip on that funny dentist mask and shine that bright light in my face, all the while gently talking to me about whatever interested me at that season in my life. NEVER, EVER did I feel any amount of discomfort or pain. It wasn't until I was eighteen that I realized that there were even needles involved in dentistry. When I found this out I told my friends that MY dentist "wiggled my teeth to sleep"...because that's what DR. Bob always told me he was doing. Since then I have seen grown men and women cry over having just come from, or having to go to the dentist. I have had to hold my children's hands while they cry in pain in the dentist chair. I have had to administer drugs (Dr. prescribed of course) to my husband before a visit to the dentist and prayed that I could move him from the house to the car on my own because he was so "out of it". Dr. Bob where are you? What happened to the wonderful world of bubblegum fluoride, swirly brushes and treasure chests.

Well, I finally saw a dentist this past week. The report wasn't as bad as I had feared. I don't have thousands of dollars of work...but I do have some work that needs done. I am scheduled to go back in April. This initial visit was pleasant ( but no bubblegum fluoride, treasure chest or picture window), jury is still out on this one. There will have to be a sequel to this blog post. More to come on my dentistry dilemma...Life After DR. Bob.

Great Quote

Today one of our elders started us off on a systematic study through the book of Acts. We have just finished the Gospel of Luke and I believe that our goal is to eventually get through Romans. Anyhow, he said something that just stuck in my brain all day. He said that, "If we loved God more we wouldn't cheat on Him so much." I loved it. It is so true. So all day I have thought about how I can grow my love for God. I thought about my relationship with my husband, to whom I have vowed lifetime faithfulness, and what it is I do to ensure my fidelity to him. I realized that these same components translate into my relationship with God. Here are some of my thoughts:
Time is a vital element in any growing relationship. I must spend time with God if my relationship is to remain strong and continue to grow. If Buddy and I never spoke again I wouldn't stop being his wife, but it sure would put our relationship to the test, and it could pose a threat to our fidelity to each other in the face of temptation. Likewise to nurture our love for God we must spend time in communication with Him, through the reading of the Scripture and in prayer and meditation. This is why True Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship...a living breathing, growing, daily walk with the One who created us for relationship.
What Have You Done For Me Lately? I'm going to show my age here! I remember that song by Janet Jackson,
"Well what' sup with this guy? Do you really like him that much?
Yes, honey, I looove him. He is fiiine, he does a lot of nice things for me.
I know he use to do nice stuff for you, but what has he done for you lately? "
It is funny but I can ask that question even about my relationship with God. What has He done for me lately? WOW...so much!!! I remember another song like that (different genre) "Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done." COUNT THEM! NAME THEM! BE GRATEFUL AND THEN THANK HIM! You will watch your love for Him skyrocket when you work on being grateful. If you have trouble getting started I suggest you start simple, like the things that you can't live without...food, water, air. Guess what? That was Him! Thank God.
Surrender to His Love. My husband and I have been mutually surrendered to each other for 16 years. I yield to him, he yields to me...we both yield to God. It works.
In the Bible it says that, "we love God, because He first loved us."
Knowing His love makes me love Him more. Knowing the price He paid (His Son) to make me His, how He loved me even when I was His enemy, how He is faithful in spite of my unfaithfulness, how He is God and I am not, how there is nothing I can give Him that He didn't give me first, how He looked on me with great love, picked me up, cleaned me off and put His Spirit in me, how could I not love Him?

So these are my thoughts on this Lord's Day and my practical application of God's Word in my life. Like my husband always says, " If we are just going to come and listen to God's Word, but do nothing to apply it to our lives, we might as well have just gone down to the IHOP for pancakes.
OR James1:21-25 "Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. "

Time To Be Quiet

I have recently gone through a bit of a "rough patch". Over the past month or so, my new found quietness has been taken in various ways...silence isn't always safe, as it allows for speculation, and speculation allows for misjudgement. I have learned that when I am tempted to judge another, I should try to err on the side of grace. (I don't always do this successfully, but it is my aim.) I'm looking for a community whose first instinct is grace. Grace is like glue, it will create eternal bonds between people. I have found yet another wise proverb by which to live.

Proverbs 10:19
"In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."


I will that God would make me a quieter person. I have always deeply admired ladies who have "gentle, quiet spirits." That has never been me, in the natural. People close to me have referred to me as a kind of whirlwind of activity and emotion. I admit that I would much rather be described as pensive and wise. This though will take an act of God, an act for which I am presently praying.

1 Peter 3: 3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

God help me.